he was supposed to make me forget about you. but I couldn’t help but remember the taste of your lips when he had his pressed to my mouth. I practically cried every time he kissed my neck because he was erasing the marks you’d left, but those ghosts had burned too deep, I could feel your teeth grasping my skin when he laid gently beside me I could remember your fierce eyes, blazing with desire, both terrifying and intriguing me, everytime I looked at him. his heartbeat wasn’t like yours, it was the kind you could never keep up with, no steady rhythm, always beating fast. I swear it was your arms around my waist that night… until he let go, i saw his hands leave and they were not the hands I had held for 6 months. they were rough and gentle…yours were soft and curious.
I think I really noticed he wasn’t you was when he said “you’re beautiful” and my skin began to itch in all the places you had touched me. I think it was when you made me cry even when we weren’t talking to each other . I believed with all my heart that every tear I wasted on you was because I loved you. but I was sitting there telling him those words when I couldn’t have been farther away, and at night I cried you rivers, trying to tell myself that I was over you. because I was. I had to be. i was with him now…..
but oh, how he wasn’t you…
I hope I’m the girl you dream about whenever you close your eyes and kiss her. I hope that whenever my name comes up in a conversation, your eyes would drift away and you’d remember. I want to be the one who got away. I wish I’m the girl you regret about the most, the one you wish had stayed.